Beyond the One-Size-Fits-All Approach

I believe the conversation around diets for neurodivergence has been overly simplified. There's a tendency to fit people into rigid categories—some advocate that keto is best, others swear by paleo or Mediterranean diets, and still others promote intermittent fasting. However, I've discovered that just as we have four seasons in nature, we also experience seasons in life where we need to adjust our approach to what works best for us during that particular period.

Sometimes you encounter stressful, demanding seasons at work where you need to adapt your diet around different time constraints and lifestyle demands. Learning to pivot with these seasons of life is essential, wherever they may take you.

Our Family's Journey

What has generally worked best for our particular family has been following a relatively paleo-style approach. Personally, I've experimented with strict keto at times and felt absolutely amazing, but it required an extraordinary degree of discipline.

Regardless of where you are in your dietary journey right now or how your family is currently eating, understand that wherever you're at is your starting point. Recognizing that you need to move forward and make changes to reach better performance or improved quality of life is the ultimate goal. From there, you build a plan to get there.

The process starts by honestly assessing: "Here's where I am. Here's what we typically eat. I want to reach a point where we follow a Mediterranean diet" (or whatever approach feels right for your family). Trust me, as a family of four with people having different opinions and preferences about food choices, it's challenging to strike the right balance. Once you decide on a reasonable direction that works for your entire family, you can begin making slow, incremental changes toward that goal.

Making Sustainable Changes

Currently, our family follows a mostly paleo approach, with exceptions for social settings or special circumstances like birthday parties for the kids. We've decided we want to transition toward a GAPS (Gut and Psychology Syndrome) diet, but dietary changes can feel overwhelming, which is why I encourage taking it one step at a time.

Recently, we took a two-week trip to Iowa and decided to eliminate grains and dairy completely. During that entire period, we allowed grains only once, and they were gluten-free. The results were remarkable—we all felt amazing. We noticed significantly less bloating, better sleep, improved moods, and increased energy. As a result, we've maintained the no-dairy, no-grains approach since returning home, and we've all thrived on it, including my eldest son who is 10 and has autism.

The GAPS Approach

While the GAPS protocol can feel overwhelming initially—my wife read the book and we understand the concepts—we decided to take gradual steps in that direction. We started with eliminating grains and dairy while paying much closer attention to the quality of meat we choose.

During our Iowa trip, the quality of beef was phenomenally superior to anything I'd ever eaten in California, despite having enjoyed some excellent steaks over the years. This experience inspired me to seek out better meat sources for my family, especially since we're reducing our variety of pastas, breads, and sourdough. I've found a farm in the Temecula area that ships beef, and we're experimenting to see how it works for us.

Overcoming the Overwhelm

The overwhelm you may feel when making dietary changes for your family's benefit is completely normal. Remember the old adage: "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." Accept the overwhelm and approach change analytically by moving in incremental steps.

Start by identifying processed or packaged foods you can eliminate from your diet. Sit down with your family members—regardless of their ages—and have an open conversation. Help them understand that you're entering a season of change, and these modifications benefit everyone by helping us feel better, have more energy, sleep better, maintain better moods, and improve digestion. Frame it as caring for the temples that God has given us.

It's natural for children to resist these ideas initially, but use these moments as opportunities for meaningful conversations. Make the decision as a family, as we've done with our two boys. Explain that while change is uncomfortable, it's where growth happens. Discuss how God will bless us as we care for our bodies and live with better quality of life, learning to exercise discipline rather than giving in to that bag of potato chips or sweet treat. These disciplines build character and benefit both you and your children in the future.

Seasonal Flexibility and Special Considerations

Do your research on whatever dietary approach you're considering—whether keto, Mediterranean, paleo, or intermittent fasting. There are seasons where I practice intermittent fasting, though I haven't introduced it to my boys as I feel it's too taxing for children.

However, my eldest son has already undergone several colonoscopies—his first at age six, another at eight, and most recently at age 10—requiring him to fast for approximately 36 hours each time. As he approaches his teen years, I may gradually introduce intermittent fasting concepts to help him develop that discipline for when he's older.

In our particular case, intermittent fasting offers significant benefits because we have a genetic mutation known as PTEN (Cowden syndrome), which puts my two boys and me at elevated risk for colon, kidney, and thyroid cancers. The intermittent fasting component is beneficial for cellular cleanup and autophagy.

Personally, when I've practiced intermittent fasting—varying in duration but reaching up to nearly 40 hours at most—I feel incredible. When I fast for approximately 22 hours and then break the fast with sweet potato, butter, and wild-caught salmon with vegetables, I feel like a million bucks. The reduction in inflammation and the body's cleanup process leaves me feeling re-energized and ready to go.

Key Takeaways

Health choices are complicated, and feeling overwhelmed is natural. Create a plan based on whatever direction feels best for you and your family. Whatever plan you develop, remain open-minded and flexible to shift and change as your life seasons change. Don't get trapped in rigid thinking—if you choose Mediterranean, you don't have to be Mediterranean forever.

You might follow Mediterranean in one season, paleo in another, or keto in yet another. Sometimes you may choose to intermittent fast; other times you may not. The approach varies based on your circumstances.

Keep an open mind, stay flexible, and remain curious about what works best for your family's unique needs and circumstances.